It (happybunny88) wrote in brgovrtrubldwtr,

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*cough cough*

Just got in from the dr.'s, yay. I had to fast from midnight til the appt, no big deal.. had two viles of blood drawn to test for god only knows what. Then we (mom and I) came home and had to drink this HORRIBLE stuff, it's 100% dextrose, aka sugar, to test for diabetes. I just loved how mom chugged hers like it was some kind of competition. Hers was a different flavor or something, and she kept saying, 'Oh, it's not that bad' but, if she had the one I had, she'd be speaking differently. It was so damn sweet, god, it BURNED going down. And what realllly suckz is that I can't eat/drink anything til we go back to have our blood tested. Only reason it sucks is because, a throat/cough drop is considered eating something I think. And my throat is SO sore. The actual Dr. wasn't there, which I was hoping she would be, just to take a look at my throat. It's been sore for almost a week now :-(

So far, I've been sticking to my promise or whatever I made with myself to not cut... I forget how many days its been, feels like years. I wanna say its been 6 days but, I'm not sure. I was gonna keep it in my AIM profile, I had the #3 in there one time (pretty sure it was Sat.) but then, someone asked me about it, so I deleted it. Grrruf. Wow, so, I thought I had a lot to say, but I don't. Oh well, off to update my journal.
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I saw in the information of this journal it meantioned forms of Self-Injury. I'm in a group that is helping raise SI awaness and you all are welcome to come check it out at and join the OO team. We hope you decide to be apart of this movement and invite others as well.
ick......that stuff sounds horrible! I haven't had any extensive testing done for diabetes....only a urine I haven't had the "pleasure" of that stuff yet. Though I'm sure I'll have too in the not too distant future, as I'm developing more and more symptoms of it. :(

anyway.....I'm proud of you for not cutting in that long, it's great! :D
Hey! I've been meaning to ask if ya'd add me as a friend so I can read you LJ from time to time. :-) I'll add you as a friend as soon as I find some time. I hafta go make a phone call, and by then, I'm certain to forget to add ya. lol. Ahhh well, I just made the call so I'll add ya RIGHT now. I hate making phone calls, only to find out that the person isn't there, and ya hafta leave a message. AHHH. I just hate leaving messages. I'm sure I sounded like CRAP cuz I'm getting over being sick. Oh well whatever, hehe. I hadda return a call to the people I babysit for, and of course they weren't home. Ahhhhhhhhh.

Anyways, yea, cutting, thanks for commenting on that, it's been really hard. It's the end of the school year, so finals are approaching, and that're enough stress to make me cut my fingers off just so I can't take the tests. lol. But I'm tryin to stay away from cutting, at least til the summer, I dunno. Even then, I hate having to hide my healing cuts. I've got a bunch on my foot from a week or two ago that're still healing, so I can't wear flip flips, and I LOVE flip flops. And I hafta wear socks 24/7 so my mom won't see :-( The other day, I was in bed, and she went to take my one sock off for some reason, oh man, I wanted to kick her. lol. But thankfully I was awake enough to comprehend what would happen if she took my sock off, so I moved my foot away from her. *sigh* How've you been cutting wise? Last I knew from reading your journal, you had your exacto taken away but were cutting with something else. I just wanna let you know that, if you feel ready to quit cutting anytime, I'm here for ya. It would be great if you could, but it's all up to you, don't quit cuz someone else wants you to. Trust me, doesn't work. I tried quitting with this online friend of mine, and apparently SHE was ready and I wasn't. oh well. I'm gonna get going, ttyl Jennifer!
Alrighty, I'll add you right now; actually, I thought I had ya added already, so I'll def. do it now :)

Anyway, yeah, I SO know how that is, I hate leaving messages too!! Agh! that's half the reason I hardly ever talk on the phone anymore lol

and I so know how that is about the difficulties of hiding cutting during the summer.....I usually just go around barefoot at home during the summer so it kinda messes up any chance of me cutting there if I don't want it seen. Luckily, it's rare that I *EVER* wear shorts, so usually nobody asks about that one, and I can't do the whole tank top thing anymore cos I have tons of scars up on my shoulders and chest, originally because I had REALLY bad acne and wouldn't leave it the hell alone.... and my parents knew about that so as long as I'm wearing something that covers that but not a whole lot extra, I don't have to worry.

Anyway....I've been fairly good with the cutting, it's been either 6 or 7 days myself since last time I cut. :D