Log in

No account? Create an account
Bridge Over Troubled Water

> recent entries
> calendar
> friends
> profile
> previous 20 entries

Monday, February 23rd, 2009
9:30 pm - Hello there.

My name is Jay, I'm new to the whole live journal thing and I'm trying to explore these communities. A bit about myself, I'm 20 years old. I enjoy writing very much. I've been diagnosed with tons and tons of things by different docs. My life is pretty boring actually. I day dream a lot more than is normal. Even though I've gone through extreme cases of depression, suicide attempts, institutionalization, hallucinations, delusions and all that nice and wonderful stuff, I'm actually pretty happy with my life. Lately I've started to feel my life is actually a bit boring and I need to find new things to keep me entertained. I'm a complete social outcast and have a hard time finding people that I actually want to talk to. I've been called the nicest guy on earth and have also been called a completely demented asshole. That should give an idea of the extremes of my personality. I'm a bit off the charts but I like that. Anyway I will look forward to reading whatever is posted in this community.

(comment on this)

Sunday, February 22nd, 2009
11:05 pm

hello. i am new to this community. my name is alexa and i am a compulsive liar. i have been struggling with this my entire life. i have never been able to go one day without lying about something, even if it is really small. I cant help myself. there is nothing i havent done to stop myself from lying. and lately my lies have been getting really bad. i left last week to go home and get away from the college life, but instead of just telling people that, i went on to tell my teachers that my parents were sending me to a clinic for depression, eating disorders and self injury. in napa valley. i made up the name mission hills rehab center in napa valley. and EVERYONE believed me. and now that i am back at school it gets worse. i pretended that the people put me on drugs and acted like a total space cadet all day until 6:30pm, when the drugs "wore off" and then i proceeded to pretend to throw up every five to fifteen minutes to show the "come down" of the drug. wat the fuck is wrong with me??? then my best friend comes to me about it really pissed because she doesnt kno why i am acting the way i am acting and i told her that it was the drugs, they make u hazy and foggy and spacey and then went on to describe "my roommate" at the clinic and "this guy simon" who im "involved with" and shit like that which is all totally bogus. i had a total melt down in front of her so that she would believe everything i told her. why do i do this? i really need help. but im too afraid to go to someone about this problem that i have...

(comment on this)

Tuesday, February 7th, 2006


(comment on this)

Thursday, November 24th, 2005
2:35 pm

I've cut myself so much in the last week that my entire leg is just like....bloody.

it's awesome.

i love it.

(3 comments | comment on this)

Friday, October 7th, 2005
12:48 pm - Cross-posted like heck

Hi everyone! My name is Chris and I am an instructional aide at PACE (Pacific Autism Center for Education; www.pacificautism.org). I would very much like to atart working with my student towards him writing poetry. I have seen autism netverse and some of the work there is AMAZING! However, being new to the field, I am unsure how exactly to go about it. I have talked somewhat with my teacher, but wanted other points of view and resources as well. If anyone has any or can point me to some, I will love you forever and name my firstborn after you :-)

More specifically, while I despise cinquains and diamantes and things of that nature as being boring, anti-creative, and actually turning people off of poetry at a young age, I just now thought that an emulation of a poem (basically making a Mad Lib out of it) might be effective to start him down the path. What do ya'll think?

(comment on this)

Sunday, January 16th, 2005
5:49 pm - cross posted, please respond

What do you do, when you want to share and conquer pain, but yet, you do not know what that pain is, or what causes it, but for the fact that it is there, and it is from within yourself?

(3 comments | comment on this)

Monday, December 13th, 2004
6:38 am - hello

uh hi, I'm suddently afflicted with a case of being outgoing because of lack of sleep. I've just been looking around and this place seems really nice

*Anyway, once you become a member, feel free to post a bit about yourself and let us get to know you. I promise, we're all very nice people and we won't bite.*

I really like that. Just wanted to say hello and that I hope you all take care :)

(1 comment | comment on this)

Wednesday, November 10th, 2004
11:53 am

Hey girls. I have just created a new community for people with any eating disorder. You can do whatever you want there. Post thinspiration, share tips, whatever...please join. I want it to be a safe place for us all to go.


(8 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, October 14th, 2004
9:47 am - I hope this is ok, if not, I am sorry.

Come Join!


(comment on this)

Sunday, October 3rd, 2004
7:43 pm

Just so everyone knows, this community is still open and available for anyone who wants to post here :)

(comment on this)

Saturday, August 21st, 2004
11:32 pm


A community where looks don't matter. Check it out guys, pretty hot stuff.

(1 comment | comment on this)

Saturday, July 24th, 2004
4:27 pm - This beauty is just a piece of dust compared to all of God's Glory


current mood: hopeful

(comment on this)

Thursday, July 22nd, 2004
12:00 am - why does the name GOD spring forth hate????

Well Lord, I'm taking alot of crap for believing in you and your laws for man....many think you do not exist, as I once did...I get so tempted to lash out and spew back at them but I know better, you love them as much as you love me and because they are deceived as I once was, they must receive mercy and every chance to repent, Grant me more patience and more will to even want to help, you have created some stubborn ass people....I partially know what will happen to the goats and I am scared for them, for those that actually come to know that HELL AWAITS (shout out for SLAYER!).........Satan has hidden the truth very well and has made it so hard for man to escape all the traps he has set........""" Against whom do ye sport yourselves? against whom make ye a wide mouth, and draw out the tongue? are ye not children of transgression, a seed of falsehood"""

(5 comments | comment on this)

Friday, July 9th, 2004
10:49 am - God, I'm fucked up.

I really shouldn't let myself sit and think. It only leads to me realizing how fucked up I've let my life get. And the fact that I'vefound there's an actual name for something else I do, though at first made me feel a little relieved cos I knew I wasn't the only one, now makes me feel worse because I realize I'm terrible on yet another level. *sigh*

Sorry. needed to vent this somewhere, this seemed to be ideal. Just ignore this. It's not worth replying to.

current mood: cynical

(1 comment | comment on this)

Monday, June 14th, 2004
8:53 pm - WEIGHT ISSUE...


I'm a little concerned about my weight.  I've lost 80 lbs. in the past year. I'm not complaining, cause I really needed to.  But lately, it seems as if I 'm losing it too fast and I'm not even trying.  Every time I see my pDr. I get weighed. And every time I've lost more weight.  She hasn't said anything.  I usually only eat once/day, sometimes twice/day if someone gets on my case.  I really haven't had much of an appetite since I've been on Topamax, which has been a lil over a year.  I don't know if i should tell my pDr. cause I don't want her taking me off it. It's been the most helpful mood-stabilizer I'v ever been on.  Any suggestions?


current mood: worried

(2 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004
9:15 am - *cough cough*

Just got in from the dr.'s, yay. I had to fast from midnight til the appt, no big deal.. had two viles of blood drawn to test for god only knows what. Then we (mom and I) came home and had to drink this HORRIBLE stuff, it's 100% dextrose, aka sugar, to test for diabetes. I just loved how mom chugged hers like it was some kind of competition. Hers was a different flavor or something, and she kept saying, 'Oh, it's not that bad' but, if she had the one I had, she'd be speaking differently. It was so damn sweet, god, it BURNED going down. And what realllly suckz is that I can't eat/drink anything til we go back to have our blood tested. Only reason it sucks is because, a throat/cough drop is considered eating something I think. And my throat is SO sore. The actual Dr. wasn't there, which I was hoping she would be, just to take a look at my throat. It's been sore for almost a week now :-(

So far, I've been sticking to my promise or whatever I made with myself to not cut... I forget how many days its been, feels like years. I wanna say its been 6 days but, I'm not sure. I was gonna keep it in my AIM profile, I had the #3 in there one time (pretty sure it was Sat.) but then, someone asked me about it, so I deleted it. Grrruf. Wow, so, I thought I had a lot to say, but I don't. Oh well, off to update my journal.

current mood: sleepy

(4 comments | comment on this)

Sunday, May 30th, 2004
11:06 am - herrrrm

No clue what I'm gonna write. I mean, there's lots to say but, oy. I think I'll put some stuff here, and some in my journal. Just not sure what yet. Here's a start... its 11:40am, and, I have an icky taste in my mouth, like I'm gonna puke *sigh* I hope I don't. Ummm, I've been up since 9:20 or so, which is early for me on a Sunday. Thought I was gonna go to church with the parentals but, decided I'm too sick to go, I know I'd regret going. My nose if stuffly (hehe), throat hurts, kinda like a strep-throat type feeling, and, I just feel like a pile of poo.

So, my dad woke me up this morning, asking if I'd frost the cake that he baked for the church coffee hour. He was like, 'You do it all perfect and pretty.' mmm hmmmm. If you say so dad. Well, that triggered me somehow. Perfection. I got up outta bed, and started frosting the cake. Welll, it got me thinking. What happens to a cake that's all perfect? It gets cut. So, it's only natural for a 'perfect' person to either get cut, or cut herself. *tummy hurts* Oy, I feel miserable.

But on a happier note, I think its been 3 nights. 3 long, horrible nights since I last... yea. It wasn't this hard last time so, maybe this time it'll be for good. God I hope so, I can't take much more of this.

I think that's all I'm gonna write here, the rest of what's on my mind shall go in my journal. Laaaata!

current mood: contemplative

(comment on this)

Thursday, May 27th, 2004
9:43 pm - dunno how long this can be but...

I feel the need to, I dunno, get some shit off my chest. I had an awful day, as a result of an awful night. Shit, I hafta go already. Lets see if I can sum up what I'm feeling... lastnight, nightmares... couldn't sleep, couldn't go to school. As a result, mom's mad at me, was screaming at me all day :-( Made me feel like shit, tried to cut with a razor but couldn't for some reason. God I feel like shit. Wish I could write more, but can't, mom's makin me get off. Won't be on later cuz mom took my computer's keyboard from me, bitch. So I can't even talk to Bonnie later, damnit. I'm gonna be covered in blood tonight, I can sense it. I just wanna talk to someone!!! And mom took that away from me. :-(

current mood: cold

(2 comments | comment on this)

2:29 am - Hugs

I could sure use some more hugs....*sighs*
Just got to my profile (hint)

(comment on this)

Wednesday, May 26th, 2004
7:30 pm - FRIENDS ONLY........

Today I decided to make my journal friends only. The reason for this is becase I have major trust issuses with men and DO NOT want any men commenting and WILL NOT add them. Sorry guys.
So, if you would like me to add you, just let me know and give me a reason, I'm pretty easy going.
But there are a few things you need to know about me first:

1) I'm a lesbian and have a serious girlfriend, named Rebecca (Becca)

2) I have issues, ie: bi-polar disorder, ptsd and bpd

3)I'm in therapy, on meds, and see a psychiatrist

4) I'm very honest and always try to be a good friend

5) I LOVE HUGS~ you can give me one (or as many as you like on my info page)

~Thanks for your time!

current mood: indifferent

(1 comment | comment on this)

> previous 20 entries
> top of page