I really shouldn't let myself sit and think. It only leads to me realizing how fucked up I've let my life get. And the fact that I'vefound there's an actual name for something else I do, though at first made me feel a little relieved cos I knew I wasn't the only one, now makes me feel worse because I realize I'm terrible on yet another level. *sigh*
Sorry. needed to vent this somewhere, this seemed to be ideal. Just ignore this. It's not worth replying to.